9
Arranged Marriage
How much do looks and salary actually matter in AM?
I am 31F, decent job, moved to Pune last yr for work.
I am on the heavier side and I earn a bit more than most guys my family brings. Half the time they stop replying after seeing my salary, other half it is the photos.
My dad is not around and my mom is not well, so I am mostly doing this on my own. Relatives dont really help, they just gossip.
So honestly, how much do looks and money decide this whole thing? Does my profile even reach the guy or do parents filter it out before that? Want real answers not gyaan.
9
Comments
Doing this solo without family support is brutal, respect to you. Maybe get one cousin or friend you trust to vet profiles with you.
Parents do filter before the guy even sees it, esp on matrimony sites. Thats why word of mouth / references work better imo.
Been there. What helped me was being upfront in the first chat itself. Filters out the shallow ones fast and saves your time.
Also fix your photos before anything else. Natural light, simple clothes, a real smile. Changed my response rate completely.
Looks matter for the first impression, money matters for the families. But the marriage runs on neither after yr one.
The earning more thing is so real. Half the guys say they want independent woman and then ghost the moment they see the number.
You sound grounded and self aware, that is genuinely attractive. The right person will read your situation as strength not baggage.
Your profile reaches whoever the parents let it reach, sadly. The system is gatekept. Not fair but good to know going in.
Honest answer, the first filter is almost always photo + salary. Nature and values come later, once someone actually talks to you.
The ones who keep you hanging without a yes or no are doing you a favour honestly. Treat silence as a no and move on.
As a guy I will say it, a lot of men are insecure about a wife earning more. Thats their problem not yours. Dont shrink yourself.
Pls dont lose hope. Weight you can work on if you want to, the family stuff is not on you at all. Right guy wont care.