12
Arranged Marriage
He earns less than me, will it become a problem later?
29F here. Met a guy twice, genuinely nice, we click on most things. Only thing is I earn roughly double what he does.
Right now neither of us cares. But I keep hearing from aunties that it "never works", that the guy ego kicks in after a few yrs.
Anyone actually living this? Did the income gap cause issues down the line or is it just log kya kahenge noise? I dont want to walk away from a good person over a what if.
12
Comments
Good luck OP. From the way you wrote this, your head is in the right place. Dont let aunty economics scare you off.
Just make sure he is proud of you, not threatened by you. One line convo can tell you which one it is.
What matters is ambition, not current salary. A guy earning less but growing is fine. A guy earning less with no drive is not.
Honestly a good man who earns less beats an insecure man who earns more. You already know he is nice, thats the rare part.
My BIL earns less than my sister. The only problem was his parents, not him. Check the family mindset too, not just the guy.
It can work but watch how he reacts when you pay for stuff now. Small reactions today become big patterns later.
Married 4 yrs, wife earns more than me. Zero issues. It comes down to whether the guy is secure as a person, not the number.
I earn more than my husband and we are 6 yrs in, happiest marriage in my friend circle. It is not the curse aunties claim.
Income gap only becomes a problem if lifestyle expectations dont match. Align on how you want to live, not on who earns what.
My cousin broke it off coz the guy kept making jokes about her being the earner. Jokes are how insecurity leaks out. Watch for it.
Dont walk away from a genuinely good person over a hypothetical. Walk away only if you see actual insecurity, not before.
The ego thing is real for SOME men, not all. Dont paint them all with one brush based on aunty predictions.
Also your family will test him on this. If he stays calm when they poke, you found a keeper.
The what if is doing more damage than the actual gap. You have real data, he is nice and you click. Trust that over gossip.
Talk money openly before you commit. How you will split, save, handle a bad month. If he can talk about it calmly, green flag.
The aunties saying it never works are the same ones who think a wife should hide her salary. Ignore that noise.
Keep some financial independence regardless of who earns more. Thats just smart for any marriage, not a trust issue.
Me and my wife, she is senior to me in corp. We just stopped keeping score of whose money is whose. That mindset shift helped.