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Arranged Marriage
LDR right after marriage, can it actually work?
Both of us liked each other, families are on board. Catch is he is in Blr, I am in Delhi, and neither job can move for at least a year.
So basically we would be married but living apart, meeting once a month maybe. Parents say "beta adjust ho jayega". Easy for them to say.
Has anyone started married life long distance? Did you survive the first yr? What actually helped, what made it worse?
9
Comments
Blr Delhi is a 2 hr flight, not that bad honestly. People do worse. Just protect your weekends fiercely.
It worked for us but it is lonely. Be ready for festivals and sick days alone. If that scares you, rethink the timeline.
Did LDR for the first 14 months. It works IF you both overcommunicate and have a fixed date to finally live together.
One of you has to eventually move. Decide that before the wedding, not after. Unspoken assumptions blow up fast.
We started married life in 2 cities. Fixed one weekend a month + a daily call no matter how tired. Survived, now 3 yrs strong.
Set small shared rituals. We watched the same show on call every night. Sounds silly but it kept us connected.
Trust is everything in LDR. If either of you is the jealous type, one yr apart will be torture. Be honest with yourself on that.
What made it worse for us was comparing to normal couples. Stop doing that. Your timeline is your own.
The killer is not the distance, it is not having an end date. Agree now on when it stops, else it just drags.
It can work. But go in with a plan, not just hope. The couples who wing it are the ones who struggle most.
Also decide finances early since you will run two homes. That math surprised us in month one.
Beta adjust ho jayega is said by people who never did it. Ask them to fund your monthly flights then, lol.
One yr is doable. Just dont extend it again and again. We know people who are 4 yrs into temporary LDR now, dont be that.
Hard truth, the first yr is where you actually learn each other. Doing it apart means you postpone the real adjustment.