7
Arranged Marriage
His family wants a grand wedding we cant afford. Pressure is insane
Guy and I are on the same page, keep it simple. His parents want 600 guests, destination, the works. My parents are stretching loans just to not look small.
I hate that our marriage is starting with debt and ego. Guy says he will handle his parents but nothing changes.
How do couples actually push back on the big fat wedding without it becoming a family feud before day one?
7
Comments
If he cant say no to 600 guests now, notice that pattern. The wedding is the first negotiation of many, not the last.
Your parents stretching loans to not look small is the saddest part. Protect them, a wedding is one day, debt is years.
We did the same fight. What worked was the guy telling HIS parents no, not me. He has to own that conversation.
Nobody remembers the 600 guests. You remember the loan for 5 yrs. Say that out loud to both families, plainly.
Offer them a choice, a grand wedding they fund fully or a simple one everyone can afford. Puts the cost where the demand is.
If his parents are paying for the grand part, different convo. If your side is loaning to keep up, hard stop right now.
Set a joint budget as a couple first, then present it together. United front is the only thing that moves stubborn parents.
The ego wedding sets the tone for whose wishes win later. Win this one together now, it is practice for the marriage.
He says he will handle his parents but nothing changes is the actual problem, not the guest list. Push him on that.
Starting a marriage in debt for someone elses ego is madness. You and the guy agree, that is your real leverage, use it.