5
Child Free
We both want to be child free, how to bring it up before marriage?
Me and the girl I am talking to both dont want kids. We are clear about it between us, which is great.
Problem is the families. Both sets of parents assume grandkids are a given. We know if we say it now there will be a storm, but hiding it till after marriage feels wrong and honestly risky.
How do you even start this convo with parents who think it is non negotiable? Anyone here actually did a child free marriage via AM? How did your families take it over time?
5
Comments
Honestly good on you both for being clear this early. Most couples discover this mismatch after the wedding. You are ahead.
OP here. Yeah hiding it never sat right with me. Just scared of the first conversation honestly. Good to know it settles.
Frame it as a shared decision, not a rebellion. We want to build our life this way lands softer than we dont want kids.
The grandkid pressure is relentless in our culture, be ready for it to come back every festival. A united front is your shield.
Put it in writing between you two first, like what you both actually want and why. Aligned couples handle the family heat better.
Say it before marriage, 100%. We stayed quiet to keep peace and it blew up in yr 2. Hiding it is the worst option.
Tell them calmly, once, and dont reopen the debate every time they poke. Boundaries are set by repetition not by one big fight.
Better one hard talk now than a divorce later when one of you resents it. You already did the hard part by agreeing together.
Do NOT let them assume and sort it later. A marriage built on a hidden dealbreaker is a time bomb. Honesty now saves years.
Child free by AM here. Told both families before engagement. Lot of noise for 6 months, now they have accepted it fully.
Expect the you will change your mind line a hundred times. Just stay calm and consistent. Repetition wears them down.
good
hi
Good
Good
The fact that you two agree is the whole game already. Parents will grumble but it is not their marriage to live.