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First Meeting
First meeting he spoke only to my dad, never looked at me
Had the first meeting today, both families. The guy spoke to my father the entire time about work and property. Did not ask me a single question.
When I spoke he gave one word answers and looked at his dad. I felt invisible at my own meeting.
Is this nerves or is this a preview of being a side character in the marriage? Families think it went great. I feel weird. Am I overreacting?
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Comments
Talking property with your dad while you sat there is a bad look. But nerves are real. Separate the two with a solo meet.
I married a guy who was shy at the group meeting and wonderful one on one. But I checked first. Please check first.
Trust the invisible feeling. If a one on one chat also has him ignoring you, that is your clear answer. Dont ignore it.
Not overreacting. He treated you like a formality and your dad like the client. That is exactly the preview you fear.
Feeling invisible on day one is loud. Give the benefit of one solo meeting, then believe exactly what you see.
Families always think it went great, they are watching a different movie than you. Your read of the room matters more.
If he cant hold a convo with his future wife but can with her father, priorities are showing. One more meet to confirm.
As a guy I was nervous af in my first meeting with parents watching. One on one I was normal. Worth checking before judging.
Give him ONE more meeting, just the two of you, no dads. Some guys genuinely freeze with elders around. Test it once.
Ask for a phone or coffee chat directly. How he treats you with no audience is the only data point that counts.